I was originally going to wonder to myself to the internet in that vague facebook way... why is it that when I so need to relax is when my 

mind won't stop thinking far too serious of things with potentially far reaching consequences - because as we all know - when you're 

exhausted is NOT the time to make decisions.  Or think. Or move.  

But then I thought about how long it had been since I went on facebook and that maybe I should just be all "Loook!  I really do remember 

my password."

Because clearly, in this facebookian world of quick blurbs and short, meaningless posts, I certainly shouldn't take the time to express any 

actual thought to another human being.  There's too much to do.  Too much to see.  Too much to be seen doing.

God forbid I take five minutes and stop and have an actual thought.  That wouldn't do... no.. that wouldn't do at all.  

To think about my life.  To judge evaluate analyze break down wonder about laugh at love and cherish.

Of course, that's a bit too much info for facebook.  And frankly, Scarlett, I don't give Damn.

My facebook says that myspace is still better.

But I posted it here.

Go figure.

I'm gay.  And I'm straight.  And we all know what that means... . If you're like most of the conservative Christians I've come into contact with recently, that little idea is enough to put you off. Sirens are going berserk in your head, red flags are waving, and neon lights are flashing “SINNER! SINNER! Danger, Will Robinson. This person wants to corrupt your children and lead you astray from the path of righteousness!!” Red-blooded right-wing Americans everywhere view my lifestyle, the way I conduct myself in the privacy of my bedroom, as an affront to their delicate sensibilities and a direct insult to everything that is wholesome and pure in this world. So, since I've already got you thinking that Pluto just handed me a one way ticket to Tartarus, I'm going to go ahead and throw a few more bits of kindling on my own personal hellfire.

I'm also a vegetarian. And a humanitarian. And (if you're easily offended you might want to stop reading now – experience has shown me that this next one infuriates more people than the other two combined) I, 100%, irrevocably, beyond a shadow of a doubt – do NOT believe that all Muslims are terrorists. Or even most of them.

I detest unjust war. I believe that life – ALL LIFE – is precious, and that HUMAN rights apply to – just like the name says – all humans. I believe that the right to life, in a fetus, does not exist until that fetus is capable of independent life. I believe that ALL men (and women) were created equal. I believe that religion has absolutely NO place in government, or in the law making process. I believe that the American Government has declared a “war on terror” by becoming terrorists themselves. I believe that Guantanamo should be closed, torture of anyone in any form for ANY REASON is inexcusable, and the rights of Habeas Corpus are, and should be, non-negotiable. I believe that I believe that questioning the motives and actions of our leaders is one of the highest forms of patriotism. I believe that our arrogance towards this planet is quickly turning an environmental problem into an environmental crisis. I believe that all faiths, all people, can – in fact – peacefully co-exist. I believe that everyone has a right to choose the path that is best for them, as long as it is understood that the right to clinch your fist ends at the tip of someone else's nose. But I also believe, for me, that the path to God is one of love, not one of fear. There you have it – I'm one of “those.” I even get regular e-mail updates from the ACLU to prove it. As time permits over the next months, I'm going to take these one by one and explain my reasoning for them, so consider the above your disclaimer.

This time, however, I'm going to focus on the more general (irony, huh?) I am obviously not a conservative. I am certainly not a Christian. And I'm going to tell you why.

I know that some may wonder why I group the two together, but the simple fact is, while it is no means a completely inclusive statement, the vast majority of the time (in my experience) the two go hand in hand. I'm not saying all conservatives are Christian or visa versa, but I know, and/or know of, very few exceptions to this rule that aren't themselves somehow members of a fringe subculture that has caused them to reevaluate one of these criteria. When I speak of the “conservative Christian” I am referring specifically to the mainstream religious right. In that context, it must be known that I am NOT including the extremist conservative or religious sects (like the Westboro Baptist Church.) To do so would be an extreme show of bias and one-sidedness on my part, simply on the basis that their behavior goes beyond unacceptable and lands firmly into the realm of utterly horrifying.

Needless to say, I haven't had an extensive discussion with every conservative Christian in our country – and as such, can only assert opinions based on the information that I, myself, have gathered based upon the conversations I have had, the news I watch (from a variety of sources, not just liberal ones) and the occasional studying of history, politics, and (mainly) philosophy that I tend to engage in in my free time. If you fall into this group (or even if you don't) and disagree with the conclusions that I have drawn, please let me know. I'm always interested in a new viewpoint and/or an intelligent debate. For me, however, I had no choice, morally or logically, to turn away from the religious upbringing instilled in me by my mother, a preachers daughter.

Now I'll tell you this: I do believe that Jesus walked the Earth. I do believe he was a spiritual master in many ways. I do not, however, believe that he was divine – the single “Son of God” sent to save us from our sins, an infallible man without sin himself, or the ONLY way to acceptance by God. Overwhelming evidence, to the point that it is rarely argued anymore, proves that the Catholic Church made choices as to which books to include into the bible as canon. The bible, as we see it today, was designed by a group of religious leaders that made choices based on what they wanted the masses to believe. (You can explore this further at http://gbgm-umc.org/umw/Bible/outside.stm or you can do a google search on “books left out of the bible canonized” - or if you don't like to read, you can look up the History channel programs - “Banned from the Bible I and II.) There is also evidence to suggest that the Catholic church actually held a vote on the divinity of Christ. (That this idea was brought into the public eye of pop-culture by Dan Brown's book “The Da Vinci Code,” does not, in any way, negate the fact that it is a substantial theory among some historians. For those that don't know, by the way, many of the organizations talked about in both that book and “Angels and Demons” are real and somewhat accurately portrayed, though the plots of the books are fiction.)

In addition, anyone that has studied the history and development of the various religions would have no choice but to recognize that much of the various systems are intertwined. In Greek Mythology, for example, we can find a story of a flood that covered the earth and destroyed all of humanity but two individuals. Zeus, incidentally, flooded the earth for the same reasons that the Christian version of God did. The simple fact is that, historically speaking, as nations in the past conquered other nations, parts of the conquered nations traditions were incorporated into the stories and culture of the conquering nation, in order to ease the transition of the common people from one leadership to another. Christianity is no different. When Christianity was brought to Greece and Rome, (quite violently, I might add) the new rulers brought bits and pieces of the religion into their own culture – to calm the resistance of the people that were being handed, and told to accept, and entirely new belief system. Greek mythology, by the way, also starts with man being created from clay. In Christianity, one can use the main holidays as a prime example. Easter has its roots in the Pagan fertility celebrations, which is why rabbits and eggs are part of the traditional celebration – and the reason that the day Easter is actually observed is based on the phases of the moon. Christmas was traditionally a celebration of the winter solstice – the longest night.

For those that aren't aware (though I suspect most are) all of the religions that fall under the technical (not geographical) category of being 'western religions' share the old testament. The main Western religions, by the way, are Judaism, Christianity, and Islam. Above and beyond the simple historical intertwinings of religions that each claim to be the “only one,” however, is the way that these religions have taken God, a being that is beyond comprehension, and given 'him' human characteristics. Jealousy, anger, vengeance, retribution – even gender... and then to top it off, in Christianity, if you don't believe, you spend all eternity burning in Hell. Which leaves humanity in this situation: The 'majority' of people believe as they are taught when they are children. It is not uncommon for individuals to have a sort of 'faith crisis' and briefly reconsider their beliefs, but most frequently a person will eventually return to what was ingrained in them as children. So, people that are born to Islamic parents, for instance, are most likely to be Islamic as adults. Which means that simply by chance of birth, approximately 67% of the population of our Earth is going to hell. This, of course, doesn't take in to account the fact that there are almost 1,000 different branches of Christianity throughout the United States and Canada that view themselves as being to one, true, Christian religion – and the only ones that are going to make it to heaven. (http://www.religioustolerance.org/worldrel.htm) If the Bible is actually divine fact, instead of a historical text that was written and then repeatedly edited by man, that means that God creates millions of people each year with the full knowledge that their souls would be sent to eternal torture in hell. Now, most Christians at this point will say something along the lines of free choice, and how if they've heard the word of Jesus they have full accountability and so on and so forth – but fail to remember that Muslims, for instance, were raised to believe the word of Allah as the divine truth just as much as Christians believe the Bible as divine truth. Anyone that is willing to observe basic psychology in an open-minded fashion can see where the logic of this argument goes terribly awry. Simple fact is, even the most casual of observation shows one that if they were born in Islam, chances are they would be just as passionate about the Qu'ran as they are about the Bible. Conversion does happen, but compared to the statistics of how many stay with the religion they were raised in, it's not common – and remember – conversion happens both directions, not just Muslims turning to Christianity, but Christians turning to Islam.

For the record, I've had my own religious crises. I wanted desperately to believe every word of the bible. But no matter how much I tried I repeatedly came to the same conclusion. Even if I could move past the fact that the belief system of Christianity (and most religions) defies basic logic, I could not, in good conscience, worship the God of the bible. I could not put my full faith in a being that would so easily destroy people, and torture the souls of his creations for all eternity. And trust me, coming from the upbringing that I have – I was certainly taught to fear hell – it's a scary thing for me to say. It was not, clearly, the “path to truth” for me. I don't mean to negate or minimize the fact that it may be the path to truth for you, but if it is, you must keep in mind that it is JUST that – the path for YOU. Which brings me to my biggest problem with most of the Christians I know.

There is a bumper sticker that quite simply puts it: “Dear Lord, Please Save Me From Your Followers.” Christians, and specifically freshly “born-again” Christians, are – quite honestly – some of the nastiest people I know. My experiences with them (and again, not ALL of them) have overwhelmingly been that they are disdainful of others that don't believe the same, judgmental of those that don't live as they believe people should live, and hateful in the name of Jesus. I have seen so many people be deeply hurt by people they love, and that they thought loved them, in the name of Jesus, and being someone who does believe in his wisdom – I find it extremely offensive. After 2000 years, I tend to think that it might be time, if a person has chosen that religion, to let Christ of the cross and into their lives. It never ceases to amaze me how many people warp the Christian religion into a weapon – and then call themselves enlightened by God. It's 2009... and still there's a holy war being waged all around us. Specifically, Christians v. Muslims. And more than that, I have heard so many Christians talk about how violent Islam is, and am consistently taken aback by it... because I've heard these same Christians talk about how we should just kill them all. I have actually heard (and I'm not naming names) people that I am close to say that it's okay if we accidentally kill the children in the Middle East, because they're just going to grow up to be terrorists anyway. I find myself wondering where love fits in...where tolerance comes into play... and how Jesus became an excuse for hatred.

Call me crazy, but I really believe God is about Love. I believe that GOD IS LOVE. And I really believe that we can all get along. There are certain moral truths that run a common thread through most belief systems and philosophies (if the people that subscribe that system follow them or not) and they are the very same ones that are necessary in order to have a functioning society, and they come down to this: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Kant, the author of a branch of Ethics termed “Kant's Categorical Imperative” said this another way, and while I don't agree with the idea of duty bound ethics, I do agree with what he said... “Act only according to that maxim whereby you can at the same time will that it should become a universal law.” If we all did this... think of how the world could be. We'd have our own beliefs, but be tolerant of others. We'd clinch our fists, but never in violence. We'd seek information, but never extract it through torture. We'd disagree, but do so respectfully. We would never feel that our own self-interests are the only important ones. And we would recognize that our way, may not be everyone's way. When all is said and done, the same energy really does tie all of us together, and Peace Really Is Possible.

More than that, it's not just for Christians. It's not just for Americans. It's for humanity.